Watching food porn by Nigella Lawson: “I don’t think there’s any bad way of eating fried chicken or indeed any fried food, but I have to say that I love this cold, and although cold fried food might sound disgusting to some people, I think cold fried chicken is just the most fabulous picnic food.” She can’t be for real.

Along similar lines (well, linked by the presence of gorgeous brunettes), there’s a diamond ad on TV that for some reason just really annoys me. You know the one: the husband loudly exclaiming his love in the presumably European town square as the pigeons fly off in droves; then restrained by his wife he then whips out some ludicrously sized diamond ring from his pocket; and she, moved by some deep emotion, clings to him, softly professing her undying affection. Whatever.